I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
