Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
