Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My balls are so social today.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
