i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
