seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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