remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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