I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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