I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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