I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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