he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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