Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
