Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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