i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
