Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
