when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
