did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
