Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
