So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
