Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
