are you still at the devil's house?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
