worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
