Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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