After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
