porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
