That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
