So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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