How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
