Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
