I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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