think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Someone shit on the floor
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
sex in a hospital.. check
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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