Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Damn victory sex feels great
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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