Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
