Whats the glycemic index on semen?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
