come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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