In the future we'll all be gay
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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