i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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