Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
