3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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