I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
