Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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