the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
