You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
