just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
