He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
