Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
