What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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