I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
