I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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