we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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