Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
